Orpheus Corpse Collected

As discussed in this post, Orpheus Corpse is my Twitter serial of nightmares, magic and chocolate. It's been a fun thing to try during some downtime. This page collects the chapters so far in chronological order (and yes, it's probably NSFW or children):

Ch1: The law passed at midnight. The Minister toasted me first amid the cheers. I am young and brilliant and I have just helped change the world.

Ch2: The Information Emancipation Act is a reality. And I'm the speechwriter for the man who's going to ride it to the top. I'm getting signs..

Ch 3: … the signs were good. I'm sexing an office girl in the stairwell. Hard. Trying to conjure a word that rhymes with power tool.

Ch 4: The Minister pops his head out, oblivious. As he tells me I'm brilliant the blood goes north and I'm shrinking. The girl laughs internally.

Ch 5: New job for you, Orph. Different. Secret. Dangerous. Prison. Madman. Oh, and take Ms West with you. When you're finished.

Ch 6: Yes Minister. She's a nobody, I don't know her first name, she's a piece of office supply like staplers and sellotape, but Yes Minister.

Ch 7: Hi, she says, I'm Jenny. You know what rhymes with power tool? Flaccid jackass. Looking forward to working with you.

Ch8: Next morning I'm trying to dress for it. Blue tie or blood red? Secret mission casual or insane ward dressup?

Ch9: My wife tells me what I need to hear. You've sold soap to sperm whales. Dreams to millions. You can deal with prison and a madman.

Ch10: Darling, you still smell like office supplies.

Ch11: Nice to be out of the office. Nice to be driving on a dirt highway in the sun. Nice to be feeling air instead of writing about it.

Ch12: Jenny's beside me. Bad sex and stupid words sit between us. The Minister's unknown task lies ahead. The old bastard.

Ch13: I've got a Master's degree and a winning cagefight record, she says. Next time we boink, I do the talking and the hitting.

Ch14: Next time? I smirk and she catches my left ear with her elbow. This could work, maybe. Like a bullfight.

Ch15: This is ugly country. Rough hills, shacks... a highway that's become a cart track. Where's the prison?

Ch16: Small hut on a hillside. Two fat men with rifles. Nothing else because...

Ch17: … it's underground. Not a prison, a bunker. 1950s style, and extensive. Suburb size. Holy paranoid jeeebus.

Ch18: Long concrete tunnels. Awful beige rooms. An abandoned underground shopping centre with lamplights and billboards. Nuclear graffiti.

Ch19: A lone guard escorts us - pale, thin, with a bad moustache. This isn't dress parade duty. Can we get more money for toilets, he asks?

Ch20: Jenny points to the walls. Spalling. Bad things have happened down here. Fire or radiation. Hold onto your DNA.

Ch21: But I have seed to spread, dammit. Children to bless with my wisdom and fatherhood. Nuclear mutation's above my pay grade.

Ch22: I assumed you were sterile anyway, she says. Remind me to carry extra Thorium for a few weeks.

Ch23: A crumbling stockade. Two more guards, pale and drunk. A prisoner somewhere inside. The Minister's instructions in my jacket pocket.

Ch24: The lights'll wink when you need to start heading back, the guard muttters. Don't be down here after dark. He can feel it.

Ch25: Him and his pets.

Ch26: Old jails are the same everywhere. Too much urine. Not enough light. Who else have they locked up down here over the years?

Ch27: Twisted iron bars. A seat in the shadows. A winking firelight as rough hands fumble with a match. Puckered skin instead of eyes.

Ch28: "Afternoon. The pair of you reek of language and lies. I like you already." An old woman's voice with a male croak.

Ch29: I'm here from the Minister. I've been told -

Ch30: "You're after that one little thing, aren't you. Such a trifle. Not worth the fuss. Not worth coming himself."

Ch31: The more I look the more I see a man-woman hybrid. 50s, at least. Maybe 80s. Jenny's frozen, breathing hard.

Ch32: I've been told to get your signature. On a blank piece of paper. And then you'll be released.

Ch33: It laughs like a wolf. Two bits of shadow behind it grin with teeth. "You think this is captivity?"

Ch34: "Ask those poor bastards with the guns and the drinking problems who's locked up and who's free. Me, I'm on holiday. Sunnytan."

Ch35: "A concrete rabbit hole wouldn't be my first holiday choice"Jenny growls. "Unless I liked sitting in the dark & twitching."

Ch36: "I don't see the dark. Never have. I'd love to show you sometime, but you'd have to lose your eyes."

Ch37: Your signature, I interrupt. I don't know why and I don't care, but I need it. Is this going to be a problem?

Ch38: 'I'm so glad he finally sent the 2 of you' it says. 'Much more fun than the heavies and bureaucrats. Let's wander a while.'

Ch39: Do I get a name, at least, if we're going to play games?

Ch40: 'You get any name you want' sounds the dark. 'But people call me Watcher.'